if you are a band member i'll probably ask you if i can touch your hair 
depression is when you don’t really care about anything
anxiety is when you care too much about everything
and having both is just like what
(via pristinevelveteen)
Simply one of the greatest people to ever live.
- He loves life.
- He loves his family.
- He loves his country.
- He’s a phenomenal legislator.
- He’s a fantastic VP and the perfect VP for Obama.
- He wrote the Violence Against Women act.
- He cares about gay and trans rights.
- He wears aviators.
- He eats ice cream.
- He survived a devastating tragedy and chose to respond by fighting for people in need and living his life with daily joy.
- He’s a catholic, but doesn’t let their barbaric social stances tell him what to think.
- He laughed in Paul Ryan’s stupid face.
- He sometimes says the wrong thing, but he never lets embarrassment or criticism keep him from being himself.
- He refused to kiss the punk ass Pope’s punk ass ring because his mother taught him that no man is better than him.
- And he rules in about 400 other ways that I didn’t even think of.
(Source: joebidenlookingatstuff, via iwentzthere)
the first threesome i remember
(via flyingtoasteverywhere)
Who came up with kissing? Seriously?
Did 2 people one day accidentally bash heads together and went like, “Oh… That was nice”
*violently bashes head together again*
“This should be a thing”kissing is a method of exchanging saliva (and thus DNA) to determine whether or not you would want to reproduce with that person
*Bashes heads once more*
You are a prime candidate for my child.
im fucking cryiNG OH MY GOD???? THIS GUY FROM SHREK
IS CALLED LORD FARQUAAD RIGHT??? AND FARQUAAD SOUNDS A LOT LIKE FUCKWAD WHEN U SAY IT
LORD FUCKWAD
HOW DID THAT ONE SLIP PAST
SAY IT WITH AN ENGLISH ACCENT
(via flyingtoasteverywhere)
“We Know Who Your Crush Is” - a psychological thriller for fourth graders.
(via flyingtoasteverywhere)
The sea provides a healing magic that goes beyond drugs and prescriptions. It forces us to become involved with it. The ocean draws on the strength of plants from the Earth, the water that is a part of all life and the mineral salts from which our bodies are created.
(Source: lisaslocket, via pristinevelveteen)
(Source: atwistedupfrowndisguisedtoasmile, via emorexia)
“i want to wear shorts because it’s hot but i really hate my legs” an autobiography
“I want to wear shorts but i didnt shave” the sequel.
“I want to wear shorts but I don’t tan and I’d rather not blind you” The trilogy
“I want to wear shorts but my huge dick always sticks out” a pop-up book
(via mostspectacular)
“I’ll just say it— we’re best friends. The whole Team Jake thing on started more as a way for me to just call to a group of people. I think Beau is a little more laidback than I am to really get competitive so that’s why we’re such good friends.” - Brett
(Source: bmirchoff, via polazpolanski)
